I would still not have done

I heard all your reasons, you may have few more, but you know what ? I would still not have done - what you did to me. No, never, not even in my worst dreams. And that's why it still hurts.

HB :)

HB :)

I had a wonderful dream today... ♥♥♥ love u da shy kutty ummmaaaa... ♥♥♥

Yesterday i was alone, room la elarumae vacation ku poirukaanga so after watching the serial "Blacklist" i slept very late... and night i had a wonderful dream of ours... but i couldnt gather much of it... but i can remember the core thing the love that we shared for each other... Jan 3rd 2014, un sambantha pata elaa documents um oru folder la potu, rar huh convert pani, password protected huh maathi back up um eduthu vachaen... initial huh adikadi theranthu parpan... then almost an year, yesterday dream vanthathuku aprone i couldnt resist so i opened it... and i saw the kalvare kalvare dance video that you were dancing for me through skype.... when am watching it you should have seen my face it all glowed, i was so happy that i wanted to share this with you.. hence writing the post.. in that video for the line second kalvare kalvare, u ll come near the camera and give a wonderful smile at me, i jus saw the pure love that you had on me :'( ,  i am an idiot no doubt in that... missing someone like you only  the dumbest person in the universe can do... and the next line "En aasai en aasai, naana solvaen... ? en aasai nana solvaen en aasai neeyae solvaai kanaalae aamaam enbanae..." true i was the one who were telling u wat to do and i feel really bad... it jus because of the love that i had i was over possessive and i was doing stuffs shy really.... misssssss u da :'( ummmmmmmaaaa.... :'( ♥♥♥♥♥ antha line nee kodutha expression la care , ivan enaku thaan, naan ivanuku thaan athelaam unarthuchuda... i got goosebumps... and the last line... "Valimigu idangal Vali miga idangal thangaluku therigirathaa" en ethiruka ninu kekara maathari irunthuchu... enaku orae oru chance kodu shy.... i will make everything correct... i will take care of everyone... this life of mine is meant to live with you... if that doesnt happen am not sure about you... i will regret a lot... finally after dancing u ll come and sit and ask me how was it with all excitement... and go for drinking water... at that time by ur bedside i saw Micy the dog.... :( it hurts da... ♥♥♥♥ call me.. am waiting.... ♥♥♥♥♥ ummmmaaa ♥♥♥♥

Ammu :) happy new year da...

I wanted not to disturb u anymore... But enaala restrain pana mudiyala... Happy new year di panni kutty...nee matum thaandi Inum en manasulayum mind layum... Be happy da... Hope u and ur family had a best new year eve... Un life la elaam nala padiyaa nadaka enudaya vaazhthukal... This year should be a great for u and ur family... It will be cos am no more in ur life... Sorry kidding... Dunno still u love this part of my character... ENaKu enavo naama seeuvomunu nambikai irukudaa...btw it's been a year since I last heard ur voice... bye :) :(

HB:)

HB di panni kutty loosu erumai... Love you... In this one year have underwent many positive changes... Neraya solanum... Romba wait pana vaikaatha... And naan unnai entha vagailum disturb pana maatan da... If this is wat u wanted... Ithu thaan mudivu nu nee eduthurukalaam but enaikaavathu oru naal naan nalavan en love true nu unarnthu enkita varuvanu oru chinna ennam iruku am waiting for that moment...!amma apa paarthuko... Seekiram unga nonanuku kalyanam pani vainga... Then there is girl, a closest friend of mine have learnt lots of stuffs shy... I will introduce her... And ROMBA time eduthukaatha scene HUH podaatha... Valvalanu pesina unaku pidikaathu... Wil make it short but eluthunaa neraya solanumnu thonuthuda... Nee ithu mudunjiduchunu solratha enaala enaikum ethuka mudiyaathu naan unnai en pondaatiyaa thaan nenachan... It's a small crack between us ithuku poi inoruthava kita poiduvanu nenaikatha kadantha 6 varushamaa nee matum thaan en mind la iruka :) nee enaikum irupa... And I ll be waiting for u forever... IthelaAm unakae theriyum... Am still ur Micy...

I never forget the promises that i made to u... Not going to office tomorrow... If at all u want to see me... Jus one call or a text before 4 hrs and I ll meet u Tom... I promise give it a try to check my love towards u... Un bday un kuda irupanu sonan and I ll do that unless and until u don't want... 

If I meet u i can promise u two things first u ll receive a slap prepare ur left kannam... And then prepare urself for the tightest hug and the sweetest kiss  on ur forehead ever.... 

Once again HB di Loosu :)

One complete year done...

It was on nov 15 2013 u past spoke to me...

This was it... 

"Am leaving early today nalaiki meedhi vela seiya poran so stop texting edha irundhalum mail pannu bye:)" 

Ithelaame oru aayiram vaati padichutan... Oru nambikai oda irunthan da... Loosu di ni... Enaku ipadi oru kashtam kodukanum.. Neeyum happy huh kaamchukitaalum evlo kashta paduvanu theriyum... Yen thaan ithelaam nadakutho... Hope u took ultra super dress and planned for some parry with friends... Panalanaa plan it... Enjoy the day ammmu ummnaahhh love u... 

My last shy I don't want to trouble u again by posting here

This I typed on 30 August... I guess it dint get posted...

Unai suthi ena nadakuthunu enaku theriyala but after our separation wat I have is purely mediators between us... I hate that fact to the core... Namba rendu perukum nadula common irukaravanga... Ava una vitu velagitaa Ava santhoshamaa irukaanu enkitayum ava ini unkita vara matanu solitaanu enkita solraanga... And may be unkita avan unai vitu velagitaan happy huh irukaan neeyum happy huh iru in life paarthuko nee matum yen avana nenaikanum wen he is happy without u nu solli irukalaam.... But unaku theriyum naan yaarunu and I know whom MY GIRL is nu so... Think nalaa think pannu... And our close common friend said nee veetula kalyanaathuku othukitanthaagavum and u r ready to be with other guy num... But I know about MY GIRL... unnai cheat panikaatha nama love mathavanga mathari ila... Please nee ilaatha life enaala mudiyala jus take ur time... Enkita nee ketathu elaamae athu matum thaan "time" but come back to me evlo seekiram mudiyumo avlo seekiram intha vali enaala mudiyalada.... Until I get any kinda response from u... Byeeee love u ammu when u respond me... Three months ohh six months ohh start with a kiss ammu and tell that u love me int the first sentence phone la pesinaalum seri nerula paarka virupa pata alum seri mail msg anupcha alum seri jus start with that epavumae unaiyae nenachutu thudikara Micy... Umma in ur forehead bye da... 

This is me...

Enanu therila inaiku unnai Romba miss panran... Kalai and divi veetuku ponnan... Divi veetula irunthu Unga pazhaiya veedu ponnan... Enaku enanu theriyala something is wrong today... Ithana naalum unnai nenaikaatha naal ila, apdiya ipo marutguduchu Oru constant valiyaagiduchu but inaikiu romba valikuthudaa ammu chellam I don't want to disturb u da... But am waiting... Nan elaathaiyum maranthutan and nee nenaikara maathari irukan... Am SORRY for wat all I did... 😣 please enaku nee venum and nothing else...... Please nee ilaatha life enaku vendaam.

In saree shop vama

Friend saree edukanumnu sonaanga I came to a saree shop called vama here in Pune... I jus couldn't control my tears also cant able to resist myself writing this post... Shop la thaan irukan it reminds me how u were choosing ur clothes in westside... Neraya pesa nenaikaran... But pesinaa nan matum thaan another 1 month have to suffer da... Un pics laam fb la paarthan... The one ur with pavithra also I saw as her Watsapp dp... Romba week huh iruka oru pic la inoru pic la nalaa iruka dunno which one is true.... Nee happy huh siruchukitu... Santhoshama unaku piduchavanga kuda irunthaa seri thaan... :))))))))

In saree shop vama

Friend saree edukanumnu sonaanga I came to a saree shop called vama here in Pune... I jus couldn't control my tears also cant able to resist myself writing this post... Shop la thaan irukan it reminds me how u were choosing ur clothes in westside... Neraya pesa nenaikaran... But pesinaa nan matum thaan another 1 month have to suffer da... Un pics laam fb la paarthan... The one ur with pavithra also I saw as her Watsapp dp... Romba week huh iruka oru pic la inoru pic la nalaa iruka dunno which one is true.... Nee happy huh siruchukitu... Santhoshama unaku piduchavanga kuda irunthaa seri thaan... :))))))))

Miss u da veliya sirikaran ullaazharan

Pune la only one famous temple dagudu Seth ithu varaikum antha kovil ula ponathila inaiku ponan poitu shy enkuda seranumnu solitu Varan vanthu unnai paakaran photo la seekiram shy romba time eduthukaatha am waiting...

Editing it by 10:15...

Antha pic la romba oliyaa iruka... Face dull huh iruku... Eyebrow trim pana porathilayaa ??? I thought ena vitu pirinju happy huh ilanaalum normal huh irupanu... But week huh iruka I hate it... Ini namakula entha banthamum ilanaalum paravaala at least take care of ur health... That is the only thing I want... Nee epovum happy huh irukanum... Sirichunu un friends un family nu... Ipdi irudaa ammu :))))))))))))))))... After seeing that I want to bring u to Pune and keep u with me surrounded by my care and affection and loads of love.... Nan epudilaam vali anumbavaikarano athae vali neeyum anubavikariyaa ??? Namaku yen da ivlo kashtam evlo happy huh irukalaam am not forcing u for anything I ll never do it... Ithaan unaku santhosham kodukuthunaa... Ipadi thaan nee ena thandika virumbinaa am very happy da... But vendaam... Nan ethum solala be happy am there for u always.....

Miss u Anu :(((((((((

I was waiting hoping that u ll call.. For sure one day u ll call I rejected all the call but was waiting for u... One day u ll know shy... I still believe in ur love... I know nee thoongaama irupa ena pathi nenachunu irupanu.. Athu pothum elaathaiyum thooki potutu vaa... Am waiting I ll be waiting loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee you ummmaaaaaaaa.... Epudiyum un manasula ena pathi nenachurupa I know.... Thanks for ur wishes.... :)

Current - April 2 - the new beginning

Inaiku itha unaku anupitu amma kita veetuku friends elaarukitayum snathoshama phone pani Pesa poran flight ticket book panran oorae Diwali huh maatharan...

Neraya pesala 4-5 lines la muduchudaran, fb la ivloooooooooooo panra elaamae therunju hurt pananum, unnai naalu Peru vidu, ofc layum kandatha solraanga, sutha aarambichuta Vera, leave unnai korai solala santhoshama iru, ipadilaam thaan ulagam iruku venumnu nenacha enjoy.... Nan ethumae solala, nee epudi azhunjaa enakena ??? padikaraya padipayaanu kuda theriyala, 3.5 varushathula soli puriyathathu intha 4 line layum intha situation layum unaku puriyaathu, yosikara Katam enakaaga feel panra stage laam kadanthuta, love nu onu ila nu theriyuthu kedaikra edatha vitutu en verukara kizhthanama paarkara edathula thedanum ??? Ini inga post kist ethum irukaathu... 

Onae onu thaan sola aasai padaran... Thayavu senju en life la ini entha suzhnalayulum vanthudaatha... Entha kaaranathukaagavum... Nalaarunthalum seri nee naasamaa ponaalum seri unoda vachuko enkita ethukum vanthudaatha... Nan en vazhi paarthunu poran... I decided u r no more as u did months back.... Nan en kudumbam en friends en love to someone apdiyae poidaran manasu santhoshama iruku... Bye...

Current - April 2

Jus got it shy... I saw ur mom posted urs and ur brothers childhood pic... It's clear shy u completely throwed me away... And u asked ur selvaraja Aunty to share pics of u tharalaama poidunga Aunty wowwwwww..... It's clear it's very clear thank u... Thanks a lot... Nyt oru post panitu nan intha blog delete panidaran shy... Bye

Current - April 2

Arun kumar nu fb la unaku oru friend nee pora pokula avan photo ku like koduthayaa ila avan un friend huh ethumae theriyala ipadinu oru periya list ae iruku daily elaa profile um poi paarpan saagaran shy.... Enudayathu enaku ilanu saagaran ofc kelambara enamae ila... Chee u accepted everyone in ur profile ithaan nee aasai patathu ithaan ulagatha pathi nee therunjukitathu ??? Am telling u shy the day I regret u and the very same day wen I take decision tat no more u in me... Anaiku puriyum shy world na ena love na enanu..... Spit on my face unaku enaku pidikalanu one more time jus I can't bear all these stuffs of urs nan odayaran ovoru second um nee yaaravathu profile like pani comment pani  irukaratha paarkarapovum... Plsss

Current - April 2

Pls 8 - 10 morng unaala fb use pana mudunjaa u changed... Nan unnai entha kuthamum solala my be due to ur new frnds... To check out on them... I know u ll get angry... But jus think from my side... Nan ethum solala... Ena love panalanu it's very clear... Jus en mela erakamnu onnu irukumla ???? It's 3 months over evrything would have changed, really many would have entered into ur life... But I never allowed anyone shy... To be my friend... Jus nee ena complete huh othurita konjam kuda kandukalanu theriyuthu fb la photo va potu thaakara... Solrapo avlo valikuthu... I want to avenge u... But aiyooooo,, athu maathari irunthaa jus Unga Annan muliyamaavo or thru pavi unaku yaaru betr nu thonutho nee ithelaam padikarapo avanga kita thayavu senju... Avana nan love panala panavum maatan... Jus avan life huh paarthuka solunga apadinu solidu plssssssssss plsssss don't do this to me... Enaala saaga mudiyala azharan plssss plsssss enaku nan thirupi venum i lost myself plssssssssss plassss ithu matum aavathu pannu plssssssssss nalaa irupa plsssss ena verukaranavathu yaarukitayaavathu soli enaku solu theriya paduthu plssss unai nenachu kuda paarka maatan... Un photos paarka paarka evlo photo di poduva.... Paarthu paarthu en rani epudi di plssssss di ena pidikalanu orae oru vaati solu morng la irunthu un fb mathavanga elaa profile online un photos ithayae thaan paarthunu irukan.... Plssss I want to get rid of this unaku yaaraiyum involve pana pidikalanaa at least enkita solu orae call don't waste time for me... I don't love u ethavathu plsssssssss plssss unnai nan love panathuku ivlo love panrathuku at least intha oru chinna vishayamavathu panu... Unnai manasula vachunu nambikai oda thooki podaama love konjamum koraiyaama unnai hurt panara vishayam onnu panaama unkudavae intha blog la time spend paninu elaaraiyum veruthunu... Kudumbathu mela verupa kaatinu... Konjamum nambikai ilanaalum unakaaga ipadi irukan ipadilaam irukarapo nee fb la panra velaigal paarthunu enaala iruka mudiyala and this Harry u know avana kita serkaatha... Ofc la itha panra atha panra seri ilanu jan la sonan nan athukaprone pesala... And i dint believe is words shy... That u and vivz are talking together... Plss enaala ithelaam mudiyala... Unai pathi thapaa pesaravanga yaru yaru un kita epdi pazhagaraanganu paaru unmela irukara love la solran I think soon i ll leave u I guess shy chee nee thapaana ponnu thappu panra apdinu en manasula pathiya vachunu poidaran da... Nee thappu panra da.... Nan sona maathari nee love panala love ae ila na jus yaaru muliyamaavathu solidu... Plssssssssssssssss... Nee happy huh iruka enaku happiness vendaam intha sogam poganum plsssss... Am ready to throw u away completely but jus give the affirmation... And don't make feel bad that I made a wrong decision tat Is all am asking from u... Plsssssssssss

Current - April 2

Last post la mention pana ponnu nee thaandi nee maarita nan veenaa pogaran call me.., call me is and only If u trust me... It's been 3 months if still u think I ruined ur life jus tell me and move away... Plsss give me a yes or a no... Plssss I ll be happy watever decision u take....

Current - April 2

Morng ae epudidi fb vara naethi morng... Shy jus remove all ur pic from fb... Kenji kekaran enaku itha pannu... Plss I don't want ur pics online... Plssss am begging u....

Enaku mind la neraya kuzhapangal... Ena naan engayo tholachutan evlo thedinaalum kedaikamatengaran... Plssss enakaaga plsss enakaaga delete it plsss cartoon vachuko plssssss I beg u,,,,

I told u once ithu varaikum nee enoda muzhu love paarthathila... Am very sure nan unnai evlo love panranu paakarathuku nee enkuda irukanumnu avasiyam ae ila jus here I can do it... Am capable the thing is at least nee ithelaam padikarayaa padipayaanu kuda enaku theriyala apron epudi nan en love huh kaatrathu... ??? Plsss thayavu senju un photos del panitu Vera podu plsssss di plssss.... 

Inoru thought enanaa nee jan pesinathum, vs ku mail anupinathum paduchathuku apron I seriously have feel that u ditched me like anything and u are not regretting for it and started enjoying ur life and am wasting it... Even I wanna roam.., I want to have friends.... I want to love a girl who shows some courtesy... Some courage... Truth... And always be with me.... And will never leave me and go watever the situation she has to fyt along with me.,. Marry her and give her all my love... But the thing is enaku kalyanam nu onnu nadanthu nee cha wait panaama ipadi panitaanae nu nenachaa naan piece piece aagiduvan jus Unga veeta enaatharan enaatharanu sonayae apdi ena avangala emaathina ??? Enavo pannu... Naethi en class mate Manikandan phone panaan I thought it's u... :( jus marry soon shy... Yaravathu nalavanaa manasuku piduchuvanaa complete huh maari irukara unnai ethukaravanaa Unga caste la love panni kalyanam panikodi plsssss marry soon I beg u ithayavathu pannu... Plsss nan sagarandi... :( plsss plsss 

Current - April 1

Nan Enai emaathitu irukan shy tat u r reading all these things nu... Enai maathari Kenai paiyan Vera yaarumae iruka maataanga... Konja naal nan Enai panrathunu theriyala enakaa nee epo ithelaam paakaranu thonutho apo varan bye jus last huh onae onnu... Un fb profile pic paarka paarka enaku kobam engayo poguthu... Cha nan varan bye...

Current - April 1

I finished half of the second book in shiva trilogy... Thought of telling some important things but not in a mood shy... Bye